Last night was a little better, although before bedtime he tried to get out of bed three times. I told him over and over that he was going to hurt himself since he was catheterized. John, my son-in-law got him settled down temporarily. Then he really got agitated. Finally, I called Hospice and talked to a nurse. She suggested a couple of pills in the emergency kit to calm him down and they worked. He slept pretty well after that although I got up three times during the night to give him more roxinol. At least I didn't have to half carry him into the bathroom. I didn't need to wake John either and I finally got smart and figured out that I could carry water to his mouth with a straw. That was very helpful.
Today, our elder son will be here with his younger daughter. They must steel themselves for what they will see as a huge change in him. I will try to get a hospital gown over him to cover his chest which is covered with cancer lesions.
It has been rough today. He continues to try to get out of bed. If he manages that he will simply slide out of bed and perhaps break a bone. I have given him the Lorazepan twice today to calm him.
Keith has gone to Wal Mart to pick up the meds. He found that Bob is not in their system under Hospice and he just went ahead and paid for the medicine.
I hope he is quieter this evening. We have to watch him all the time.
What a horrible way to die!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Another Wild Night
It was another wild night. Twice he had to urinate and we just sat him up on the side of the bed and let him use the urinal. That always hurts his swollen arm and under arm and he cries out.
We went to bed at 8:00. He was awake at 10:00, 12:00, and 3:00. He is still sleeping now. The third time, he thought he needed to do a BM so I sat him on the portable commode in the bedroom. He sat there with my assistance for 15 minutes but could not use it. He did urinate though. When he gets back to bed, it takes two to use the draw sheet and pull him back up in the bed.
He has agreed to be catheterized today and that will help everyone involved...especially him. He can just lay there and when he needs to go, it will just come through the tubing into the bag. No more pulling him around and hurting him. They just needed his authorization and now he is ready.
We are now having to crush his pills to get them down him too.
Denise, our niece, was over and told us about her dad. She brought his and her cards over. I was really relived for him. Bob was catheterized this morning and his medicine changed to a more potent one...a morphine derivative. The nurse hopes she makes it to his birthday. She seems to think he is waiting for Keith and maybe even his birthday.
Leslie has taken leave and is here until evening then she will go get Keith and Sara at Wichita and John, her husband, will come stay the night. Keith and Sara, as well as Leslie will be here tomorrow and Marilyn Lively is bringing lunch for us.
Family and friends are wonderful!
We went to bed at 8:00. He was awake at 10:00, 12:00, and 3:00. He is still sleeping now. The third time, he thought he needed to do a BM so I sat him on the portable commode in the bedroom. He sat there with my assistance for 15 minutes but could not use it. He did urinate though. When he gets back to bed, it takes two to use the draw sheet and pull him back up in the bed.
He has agreed to be catheterized today and that will help everyone involved...especially him. He can just lay there and when he needs to go, it will just come through the tubing into the bag. No more pulling him around and hurting him. They just needed his authorization and now he is ready.
We are now having to crush his pills to get them down him too.
Denise, our niece, was over and told us about her dad. She brought his and her cards over. I was really relived for him. Bob was catheterized this morning and his medicine changed to a more potent one...a morphine derivative. The nurse hopes she makes it to his birthday. She seems to think he is waiting for Keith and maybe even his birthday.
Leslie has taken leave and is here until evening then she will go get Keith and Sara at Wichita and John, her husband, will come stay the night. Keith and Sara, as well as Leslie will be here tomorrow and Marilyn Lively is bringing lunch for us.
Family and friends are wonderful!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Another Bad Night
Last night I finally got Bob to bed at 9:00. Scott and I were exhausted and needed to get some sleep. I never did get a nap yesterday. There's just so much to do.
I got him to take one percocet before he went to sleep. He is now very resistant to taking his meds. He says they make him zombielike. They do...but they keep him out of pain. He awoke at midnight and was very restless. He had wet the bed and his pjs. I had put a pad on the bed though and it did not get on the bedding. After wrestling him for 15 minutes, I finally got the wet pad off the bed and into the trash. Then I wrestled his pjs off him and put some clean shorts on him. I put a new pad on the bed and got him laid back down but could not get him pulled up high in the bed. Scott was here but he was sound asleep. I should have woke him to help me but he has slept poorly for many years after his tours in Afghanistan and Iraq so I hated to disturb him.
After wrestling Bob from midnight to three o'clock, I finally made him take another percocet. After that he finally went back to sleep and so did I. So, I slept from 9:00 until midnight and from 3:00 until 6:00. He needs his pain meds. He got up at 6:00 to sit on the side of the bed and use the urinal. I'm not taking him to the bathroom anymore. He will have to use the urinal. He cannot walk without his arm around me and I am afraid he will fall and break a hip. He takes little baby steps. I mopped the bathroom floor at 3:00 this morning where he missed the stool.
Scott got up at 6:00 and helped me use the draw sheet to move him up in the bed. He is sleeping now and I have fed the dog and the cat and Scott and myself.
Ashley called again this morning. I visited with her briefly on the phone.
He used the urinal after that and we moved him into the living room recliner where he can be with us. He took two percocets at 8:00 and is sleeping soundly in the chair now. he took two more at noon.
We have had lots of food in and a gorgeous pot of flowers too. There are 21 birthday cards so far in my stack.
I went to both funeral homes about cremation when that time comes. I got prices for each one. I will use Penwell Gable. We only want direct cremation. We will have our own memorial service at the church and will not need their assistance for that.
More later:
I got him to take one percocet before he went to sleep. He is now very resistant to taking his meds. He says they make him zombielike. They do...but they keep him out of pain. He awoke at midnight and was very restless. He had wet the bed and his pjs. I had put a pad on the bed though and it did not get on the bedding. After wrestling him for 15 minutes, I finally got the wet pad off the bed and into the trash. Then I wrestled his pjs off him and put some clean shorts on him. I put a new pad on the bed and got him laid back down but could not get him pulled up high in the bed. Scott was here but he was sound asleep. I should have woke him to help me but he has slept poorly for many years after his tours in Afghanistan and Iraq so I hated to disturb him.
After wrestling Bob from midnight to three o'clock, I finally made him take another percocet. After that he finally went back to sleep and so did I. So, I slept from 9:00 until midnight and from 3:00 until 6:00. He needs his pain meds. He got up at 6:00 to sit on the side of the bed and use the urinal. I'm not taking him to the bathroom anymore. He will have to use the urinal. He cannot walk without his arm around me and I am afraid he will fall and break a hip. He takes little baby steps. I mopped the bathroom floor at 3:00 this morning where he missed the stool.
Scott got up at 6:00 and helped me use the draw sheet to move him up in the bed. He is sleeping now and I have fed the dog and the cat and Scott and myself.
Ashley called again this morning. I visited with her briefly on the phone.
He used the urinal after that and we moved him into the living room recliner where he can be with us. He took two percocets at 8:00 and is sleeping soundly in the chair now. he took two more at noon.
We have had lots of food in and a gorgeous pot of flowers too. There are 21 birthday cards so far in my stack.
I went to both funeral homes about cremation when that time comes. I got prices for each one. I will use Penwell Gable. We only want direct cremation. We will have our own memorial service at the church and will not need their assistance for that.
More later:
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Finally, Some Kind of Answer
We finally got an answer of some kind from the PET scan. There are spots in the lymph glands, which we knew about and another spot in the center of the chest. They assume that it is the lungs because the only things in that location are the heart and the lungs.
So it's a "kind of" answer anyhow. Vicky said they really needed the CT scan to confirm it but there was no point in doing that now.
So it's a "kind of" answer anyhow. Vicky said they really needed the CT scan to confirm it but there was no point in doing that now.
Wild Wedneday Morning
We just had a wrestling match here. Bob had wet the bed and wanted to go to the bathroom. I wanted him to use the urinal. He insisted on going to the bathroom. We got him in there after using those baby steps again. He then stepped out of his wet pjs. We wanted to put dry pjs on him and that was a real challenge too since once we got him sitting down on the stool, he couldn't get back up without us inflicting severe to help him up. Together, Scott and I finally got him up after we got the pjs on him and we baby stepped him back to bed only to find that the sheets were wet too. So we tried to lay him down on the daybed so we could change the sheets on the hospital bed. But he was dead weight and he instead sat almost on the floor. Scott and I each took a leg and hoisted him up on the daybed and he was exhausted and still dead weight.
We cleaned off the bed and pushed the hospital bed next to the daybed then using the bedding to carry him over the hospital bed, we moved him. The bedding is still under half of his body and I am washing the sheets and the pjs now. It will be another challenge to get the hospital bed remade. I think we will use the same strategy and move him back to the daybed using the bedding so we can remake the hospital bed. Then we can move him back on the hospital bed the same way. I would have had to call Bobby and Howard, friends of ours, if Scott had not been here. He has been a Godsend. In fact, my children have all been a Godsend. Leslie spent her Saturday here with me and Keith, in Phoenix, is so frustrated that he can't be here until Saturday. I'm sure without them, our friends and God I would have fallen apart long ago. This is all such a tragedy.
Our granddaughter, Ashley called this morning for the second time and checked on his progress.
The aide came and gave Bob a bed bath and shaved him today. I'm sure that makes him feel better.
More later:
Scott stayed with Bob while I went to see my sister, who has Alzheimer's. My brother-in-law has lymphoma and they have not treated it...just watched it for a year now. Now they are going to recommend some kind of treatment.
This week, my sister went to the doctor because the leg with the hip replacement has been aching. They did a test and also gave him something to help her to sleep sounder. She wakes up at 10:00 or so and is ready to get dressed and get up. She often goes to bed at 5:30 or so. They also did some blood work and in the process discovered she has a liver problem of some kind and so they also did a sonogram to discover the cause. She was diagnosed a couple of years ago with gall stones but they have never given her a problem so they were left untreated. They will know the results of the sonogram one day soon.
Life gets very complicated.
We cleaned off the bed and pushed the hospital bed next to the daybed then using the bedding to carry him over the hospital bed, we moved him. The bedding is still under half of his body and I am washing the sheets and the pjs now. It will be another challenge to get the hospital bed remade. I think we will use the same strategy and move him back to the daybed using the bedding so we can remake the hospital bed. Then we can move him back on the hospital bed the same way. I would have had to call Bobby and Howard, friends of ours, if Scott had not been here. He has been a Godsend. In fact, my children have all been a Godsend. Leslie spent her Saturday here with me and Keith, in Phoenix, is so frustrated that he can't be here until Saturday. I'm sure without them, our friends and God I would have fallen apart long ago. This is all such a tragedy.
Our granddaughter, Ashley called this morning for the second time and checked on his progress.
The aide came and gave Bob a bed bath and shaved him today. I'm sure that makes him feel better.
More later:
Scott stayed with Bob while I went to see my sister, who has Alzheimer's. My brother-in-law has lymphoma and they have not treated it...just watched it for a year now. Now they are going to recommend some kind of treatment.
This week, my sister went to the doctor because the leg with the hip replacement has been aching. They did a test and also gave him something to help her to sleep sounder. She wakes up at 10:00 or so and is ready to get dressed and get up. She often goes to bed at 5:30 or so. They also did some blood work and in the process discovered she has a liver problem of some kind and so they also did a sonogram to discover the cause. She was diagnosed a couple of years ago with gall stones but they have never given her a problem so they were left untreated. They will know the results of the sonogram one day soon.
Life gets very complicated.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Tuesday with Bob
I have already talked to Leslie this morning because she called on her way to work. Bob had a pretty fair night. I slept in the bed next to the hospital bed and was able to help him get to the bathroom three times...without an accident.
I got some sleep in between so I feel a lot better this morning.
He wanted to sit in the recliner this morning so he's in here in the living room. He's very drowsy and almost incoherent because of the medication but he ate a few bites of breakfast this morning. I had to feed him because he just can't manage that by himself. He dozes all the time even sitting in the recliner. But at least he's out of the bed.
Scott, our younger son, will be here in a little while. His first sergeant told him to come home even though he had no leave. He said he needed to be with his family during this time. So that will be some help. I need to go to the market and get some groceries. He can also clean the seeds out of my guttering while he's here and spread some weed and feed on my lawn, things I simply cannot get done right now.
I will update later.
11:30 AM
He was pretty good this morning until about 30 minutes ago. I gave him his two percocets then because he was getting uncomfortable. He doesn't like the effects of the meds. They dope him up so badly.
He finally came right out and asked me what the prognosis was this morning and I told him the nurse and aide were from Hospice. He was a little shocked about that but I told him about Karan's Hospice patient that has lived four years and told him they would just have to re-evaluate after six months.
That seemed to help.
He is back in bed now. Getting up in the recliner was just too much for him.
Vicky still has not called with the results of the PET scan.
She called a while ago to say the test had not come back and if it came tomorrow she would call me...either way, she will call me.
It has been a long day with lots of visitors. Our grandson dropped by and stayed forty five minutes. Another couple dropped by and brought us soup.
Another friend came by with blueberry cobbler and banana nut bread. What great friends! Scott cleaned out my gutters and fertilized the lawn. He also went to the market and fixed hamburgers on the grill.
I got some sleep in between so I feel a lot better this morning.
He wanted to sit in the recliner this morning so he's in here in the living room. He's very drowsy and almost incoherent because of the medication but he ate a few bites of breakfast this morning. I had to feed him because he just can't manage that by himself. He dozes all the time even sitting in the recliner. But at least he's out of the bed.
Scott, our younger son, will be here in a little while. His first sergeant told him to come home even though he had no leave. He said he needed to be with his family during this time. So that will be some help. I need to go to the market and get some groceries. He can also clean the seeds out of my guttering while he's here and spread some weed and feed on my lawn, things I simply cannot get done right now.
I will update later.
11:30 AM
He was pretty good this morning until about 30 minutes ago. I gave him his two percocets then because he was getting uncomfortable. He doesn't like the effects of the meds. They dope him up so badly.
He finally came right out and asked me what the prognosis was this morning and I told him the nurse and aide were from Hospice. He was a little shocked about that but I told him about Karan's Hospice patient that has lived four years and told him they would just have to re-evaluate after six months.
That seemed to help.
He is back in bed now. Getting up in the recliner was just too much for him.
Vicky still has not called with the results of the PET scan.
She called a while ago to say the test had not come back and if it came tomorrow she would call me...either way, she will call me.
It has been a long day with lots of visitors. Our grandson dropped by and stayed forty five minutes. Another couple dropped by and brought us soup.
Another friend came by with blueberry cobbler and banana nut bread. What great friends! Scott cleaned out my gutters and fertilized the lawn. He also went to the market and fixed hamburgers on the grill.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Bad Night
I woke up at 11:00 last night to the sound of Bob yelling for me. I had gone to bed at 9:30. I searched the house for him and could not find him. Finally I turned on the utility room light and he was on the floor by the back door. He could not get up and he was in pain. I had left his water and his pain meds on a table by the side of his bed, as usual. For some reason,...I guess he got up to go to the bathroom and got disoriented. I had left a night light on in his bedroom and also the bathroom but he was in pain and could not get oriented. I spent the next hour and a half moving everything out of the way in the kitchen and trying to slide him onto a towel so I could pull him across the floor and get him back to bed but he was too heavy for me and I was too weak to do it so I ended up calling the EMT's to come help me get him back to bed. I could not get him to take his morphine before he went to bed. He went to bed at 8:00 so by 11:00 his meds had worn off.
What a night!
Well, I heard him yelling again at 5:00 and came in to find him back on the floor. He had to go to the bathroom so he just wet the bed. I can't get him up and I can't call the EMTs again because Medicare doesn't pay for their services when he doesn't go to the hospital. I have the sheets in the washer and he is lying on the bedroom floor with pillows all around him and an afghan over him. That's where he'll have to lay until he musters the strength to get up and I can get the sheets out of the dryer later and remake his bed. I gave him the two percocets and he's sleeping now.
I can see this is going to be even more difficult then I imagined. I got two hours sleep before the earlier incident and three hours before this one.
Later in the morning...
I've just talked to Melissa about Bob and she is ordering Harry Hines Hospice for him. It is quite apparent he doesn't have as much as six months.
I am delighted Keith and Sara, his daughter, are coming, as well as Scott.
Karan and Bobby just left a little while ago. Bobby helped me get Bob into the bathroom this time so he could urinate without wetting the bed again.
He ate about four bites of the oatmeal I fixed and I fed the rest of it to Slinky.
The Hospice nurse came and Keith called while she was here. She will have them set up a hospital bed in the den this afternoon. They will also bring a commode, oxygen, and an emergency kit. Keith called back after she left.
The PET scan results will be in Tuesday and Vicky said she would call me with the results.
Late afternoon...
Hospice came and brought a hospital bed, emergency oxygen, a commode and a table.
Also, thank God, our son Scott is coming tomorrow to stay the week.
He got up at 5:00 and wanted to sit in the recliner in the living room. I put a pad in it and got him into it and also got him to eat some sherbet and later a few bites of the vegetable soup we had last night. He went to bed at 7:00 after going to the bathroom and taking his percocet. I got him into the hospital bed.
What a night!
Well, I heard him yelling again at 5:00 and came in to find him back on the floor. He had to go to the bathroom so he just wet the bed. I can't get him up and I can't call the EMTs again because Medicare doesn't pay for their services when he doesn't go to the hospital. I have the sheets in the washer and he is lying on the bedroom floor with pillows all around him and an afghan over him. That's where he'll have to lay until he musters the strength to get up and I can get the sheets out of the dryer later and remake his bed. I gave him the two percocets and he's sleeping now.
I can see this is going to be even more difficult then I imagined. I got two hours sleep before the earlier incident and three hours before this one.
Later in the morning...
I've just talked to Melissa about Bob and she is ordering Harry Hines Hospice for him. It is quite apparent he doesn't have as much as six months.
I am delighted Keith and Sara, his daughter, are coming, as well as Scott.
Karan and Bobby just left a little while ago. Bobby helped me get Bob into the bathroom this time so he could urinate without wetting the bed again.
He ate about four bites of the oatmeal I fixed and I fed the rest of it to Slinky.
The Hospice nurse came and Keith called while she was here. She will have them set up a hospital bed in the den this afternoon. They will also bring a commode, oxygen, and an emergency kit. Keith called back after she left.
The PET scan results will be in Tuesday and Vicky said she would call me with the results.
Late afternoon...
Hospice came and brought a hospital bed, emergency oxygen, a commode and a table.
Also, thank God, our son Scott is coming tomorrow to stay the week.
He got up at 5:00 and wanted to sit in the recliner in the living room. I put a pad in it and got him into it and also got him to eat some sherbet and later a few bites of the vegetable soup we had last night. He went to bed at 7:00 after going to the bathroom and taking his percocet. I got him into the hospital bed.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
No Church on Sunday
I don't think we will be going to church today. For one thing, for the third night in a row I have not slept well. Bob is in no shape to try it either.
He sees his primary doctor again tomorrow and I will ask her for something to help me sleep. She offered last Wednesday but I didn't think I would need it. I may have been wrong. After we finished dinner last night he was completely wrung out. We dropped some videos off at Blockbuster and came right home. At 7:00 he had his morphine and at 7:00 he had his percocet. Then he was able to stay up and watch a movie showing in network cable. We went to bed at 9:30.
It's 4:00 AM now and it's raining again. I will have to bale the yard.
Bob woke this morning at 4:00 hurting badly and wanting some percocet. I had been awake most of the night so I got up and got him some and he went to the bathroom and back to bed. I was told to give him his meds on a regular schedule so at 6:30 I took in his morphine and gave that to him too. He came into the living room recliner and has been sleeping there ever since. I fixed him some scrambled eggs and bacon but couldn't wake him to eat so I have yet to give him his metformin for the diabetes. He only got one last evening. He managed to stay awake until 9:30 to watch a movie on TV. The Bourne "something"" I forget which one it was now. It is nearly 8:00 and he is still sleeping in the chair. I ate his breakfast so it didn't go to waste.)
So, no, I don't foresee that we will be able to go to church.
He only took one percocet at 9:20 this morning. He said he didn't need any more. He wanted some sherbet around 11:00 so I drove up to the Country Mart and bought some for him. He ate about one half cup. He seems to be better so far today. He is not sleeping so much and is instead watching the weather channel and dozing off and on.
More later.
He sees his primary doctor again tomorrow and I will ask her for something to help me sleep. She offered last Wednesday but I didn't think I would need it. I may have been wrong. After we finished dinner last night he was completely wrung out. We dropped some videos off at Blockbuster and came right home. At 7:00 he had his morphine and at 7:00 he had his percocet. Then he was able to stay up and watch a movie showing in network cable. We went to bed at 9:30.
It's 4:00 AM now and it's raining again. I will have to bale the yard.
Bob woke this morning at 4:00 hurting badly and wanting some percocet. I had been awake most of the night so I got up and got him some and he went to the bathroom and back to bed. I was told to give him his meds on a regular schedule so at 6:30 I took in his morphine and gave that to him too. He came into the living room recliner and has been sleeping there ever since. I fixed him some scrambled eggs and bacon but couldn't wake him to eat so I have yet to give him his metformin for the diabetes. He only got one last evening. He managed to stay awake until 9:30 to watch a movie on TV. The Bourne "something"" I forget which one it was now. It is nearly 8:00 and he is still sleeping in the chair. I ate his breakfast so it didn't go to waste.)
So, no, I don't foresee that we will be able to go to church.
He only took one percocet at 9:20 this morning. He said he didn't need any more. He wanted some sherbet around 11:00 so I drove up to the Country Mart and bought some for him. He ate about one half cup. He seems to be better so far today. He is not sleeping so much and is instead watching the weather channel and dozing off and on.
More later.
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